Guide: How to help a colleague experiencing anxiety

Stress and anxiety, the same thing? Anxiety is a psychological state triggered in response to a vague, unknown, or perceived-as-danger threat. This state often causes a distorted perception of what might happen to us. In fact, anxiety is in some way the result of the accumulation of some or all of the ingredients that cause stress. Sonia Lupien, director of the Centre for Studies on Human Stress, breaks stress down into 4 triggers (C.I.N.É), a bit like four ingredients in a recipe: Control (feeling of having little or no control over a situation) — Unpredictability (an unexpected event or an uncertain situation) — Novelty (a new situation) — Threatened ego (a perception that our skills are being questioned).

Anxiety affects all areas of a person: their personal and professional life, but also that of their team. It therefore becomes essential to be able to recognize it in order to support a colleague who shows signs of it.

When

• You notice that one of your colleagues is having trouble delivering the same work performance as usual.
• You no longer recognize your colleague. Their behaviors are unusual, they display distorted perceptions of reality or anticipate negative or catastrophic events.

How?

• By taking the time to recognize the distinctive signs of an anxious person so you can observe them.
• By supporting the person in what they are experiencing, according to your role in the organization or team.
• By suggesting possible solutions.

Note: Although you may have the best intentions in the world, you will sometimes need to direct your colleague to external expert resources on the subject. Sometimes your listening and good advice will not be enough! And this does not replace consulting a psychologist or a healthcare professional.

Signs to watch for in your colleague

Anxiety affects four spheres in a person. By remaining attentive to changes that may occur in your colleagues' behavior, it is possible to help them at the right time and in the right way. To do this, however, you need to know how it manifests.

THE BODY

• Headaches
• Stomachaches
• Neck tension
• Difficulty sleeping
• Feeling of fatigue
• Loss of energy
• Decreased appetite

THOUGHTS

• Rigidity in thinking (being certain that what one thinks is the right thing)
• Negative perception of situations
• Cognitive biases (thoughts that differ from reality)
• Catastrophic scenarios

EMOTIONS

• Fear
• Worry and insecurity
• Sadness
• Irritability
• Anger
• Helplessness
• Discouragement

BEHAVIORS

• Difficulty with attention and organization
• Aggression or opposition
• Difficulty making decisions,
• Withdrawal
• Need for control

Support

When we notice that one of our colleagues does not seem to be doing well, it is natural to want to help them. The hardest part in the first steps toward support is making your colleague aware that something is wrong. Indeed, denial being the first natural defense mechanism for humans, this may require a lot of creativity on our part.

This support can take different forms:

• Reflect that you are observing behaviors that concern you. Are you worried about that situation? You seem stressed…
• Actively listen to the person, give them space to express themselves.
• Reframe the person's perceptions (cognitive biases). You say it will be difficult. Give yourself the chance to try, the time to learn.
• Suggest ways to calm physical symptoms (breathing, meditation...).
• Provide avenues to manage their anxiety (name the emotions, suggest certain meditation apps).
• Help make the connection between their thoughts, emotions, physical reactions, and the behaviors or attitudes they adopt.
• Suggest consulting a healthcare professional.

Above all, do not tell them to calm down or put pressure on them to change their state; that will only amplify the anxiety!

If you are that person's manager, you must reduce the pressure! For example, you can:

• Adjust expectations regarding the expected results
• Delegate certain tasks to other colleagues
• Change deadlines, give more time to complete the task
• Help with task prioritization
• Encourage teamwork among employees
• Limit the number of tasks to be done at the same time
• Assign a new project once the previous project is completed
• Provide a quieter workspace away from noise.

Suggestions to offer

A person suffering from anxiety is not always able to understand what is actually happening and even less able to find possible solutions. Reach out and suggest some!